RPG Classic Story: A Most Abserd Character

0:22 Welcome to the podcast where we talking about RPG topics near and dear to players, parts or something. I forget exactly how I brought this thing in, but it doesn't matter because we're all here now and it's all gonna be cool and we're talking and it's gonna be great. I'm Jason Portiso, I'm Joe McCall, and I am Jim Crocker. Right, So, what we did a couple weeks ago, we did the RPG horror story. This is like a staple, It's like a lynchpin of how I like to do dn D podcasts. Today is a little bit different. This is the RPG classic story. Stories that are not necessarily horror stories and not necessarily wholesome stories, or just stories that have made their way around on the Internet and they become like the face of why people play this game. These are the stories that you tell in the bar at the convention, like after you've like gotten through a day of gaming and you're just kind of hanging around shooting the shit, and like, these are the kind of stories at one guy, yeah, oh yeah, yeah. These are the stories you tell for conventions years after they happen. All right, So these are the ones that are that stand head and shoulders above the rest of them. So the story is from YouTuber puffin Forest, who does like animations for all his stories and the last I checked, this was his most popular video on the channel. But I saw this story a bunch of years ago, and I thought it was hysterical, and I thought it was great, and like I was just starting to get into the game at the time. Uh, this is right about when you called me for our game, Joe, and I thought it was just hysterical.

1:49 And I've made references to it on like places like you know, they reddit forms or whatever, and they told me that it was stupid. They're like like, oh, don't don't even remind me of that dumb story. I'm like, you're wrong. So I want you guys tell me what you think and you listening. If you know, if you love the story, hate the story, if you already knew this story, let us know. Hello Adventures podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love your comments on this. So I don't want to waste any more time. I want to get right into a most absurd character and I'm going to try not to like completely emulate the original story. But he does do the character in a Tommy Wiseou voice, and I'm probably just going to keep that going just because I can't think of a better voice for this character. So if you'll all indulge me, I'm excited. Oh yeah, no, your childlike glee at this is the thing that is really selling it. Oh, there is so much childlike in this story. This is it's called a most absurd character. It's not every day that you get to play a high tier fifth Edition D and D character.

2:52 So when one of our friends offered to run a one shot game for a birthday and ask all of us to make fourteenth level characters, we were all pretty excited. I wanted to make a high level spell slinger who'd get those powerful magics that let you warp reality. But then I had another character concept pomp into my head, one that I knew that if I didn't play now, I probably wouldn't get a chance. So we contacted the GM and asked them, Hey, so I have a little bit of a weird character concept I'd like to run past you. GM says, yeah, sure, what is it. As long as it's from the book, it's probably fine. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's from the book just I thought I might double check with you to see if it's okay, And everything's fine, And I told them my concept and he's like, is that even a legal character? I think so, I'm pretty sure it is. If you can make it legally, I'll allow it. Yep, I'll see what I can do. The day came and we all pulled out our characters. While the GM and I were keeping mine a secret. They went around the table introduced their PCs, and then finally it came time to introduce my guy, Absurd, gratiest warrior of all time. His backstory was that a long long time ago, when Absurd was a young lad, he was admitted to Swiss Swagwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they're like, you're a wizard, Absurd, And then a year later they're like, no, you're not, and they kicked them out. And then after a year of being on the road, he got caught up in a fearsome tribe of Barredburians. Yes, who

4:23 doesn't know the tales of the Barred Burians, the fearsome group of roving, marauding minstrels who tell tales of their epic conquests, and then after them, I encountered some religious clerics that were like, hey, come join our church. Our Holy Mother welcomes everyone with open arms. And then after a while they were like, maybe not you. And I got kicked out of air too, And after I left them, I joined up with the Wilderness Guards. They, yes, yes, the Wilderness Guards a group of soldiers who would go around like rangers, watching the forest and were trained in the art of kung fu and had paladin magic and shape shift in the giant ferrets. Honestly, the group didn't admit a whole a lot of people and kind of didn't want extra members. And every year they're adding more requirements trying to kick people out, and I think they were kind of elitist, a bit of a douchebag, just saying So. After I left them, I was on the streets for a while and I met a guy who taught me the secret to being a rogue. It's like, hey, you know how you can use a knife to stab people? You ever thought about? President Like really really hard when you do that. And then I discovered I have a bloodline going back that gives me magical powers other than the magical powers already possessed, of course. And then after that, Kudula was like, hey, you want some more magic and I said all right, sure, yeah, sounds cool, and there we have it. That's my backstory. And I did all that because you see, when I contacted the GM about the character, I said, hey, I like to play a multi class character and m said sure, yeah, what classes? And I said all of them?

5:53 And I'll be damned with that strange backstory. It just gave me just enough experienced multi class into every single one. That's really And some people are like, I want to play a jack of all trades, and then they went out on like one or two classes. No, when I say I want to be a jack of all trades, I want to be a jack of all trades, all of them, not this one or two class thing. And I pulled out my character packet, not a character sheet, a character packet, because each of those classes that uses spells requires their own sheet. So how does the character play it? Doesn't? I mean, seriously, I'm an archer that can't shoot, a fighter that can't fight, a healer that can't heal, a wizard that can't cast spells. Does this sound like a broken character to you. The hardest part of making Absurd was figuring out how I was going to role play him, because I had to think of why he kept getting into these groups and then promptly getting kicked out. I didn't want him to just be like evil and people kept catching him or something.

6:43 So this is what I came up with. Absurd was a drifter. He looked like the kind of guy who whenevery thing started to get difficult, he was off to the next. Job. On his neck was a bandolier of different gods. He worshiped Absurd. Oh, hello, they're nice to be making acquaintance with you. I am Absurd. You go, Really, that's the voice you're going to go with. Let's go. We have big adventure waiting for us. I'll be singing a song. Yes, I'm great the singing. So the party took off on the next So the party took off out to the next part of the story. We arrived at a forest that was cursed in manifesting strange creatures and musters. We're passing through. And as we're passing through it, the party got jumped by enemies. Oh no, watch up behind you, there's great danger. Absurd out on his own, got jumped by these Faye quicklings who darted off, and he pretended to walk away. Oh no, I don't think we can fight them with I guess we'll be going now, okay, goodbye. And then they came out to attack me, and I was like, ah, you'll fall off of my deception because Absurd said he was going away, but he didn't actually go away, so you have fallen off for it. It's very clever, ha ha. And then he promptly got stabbed, and then everyone was like, oh no, not Absurd, I can't help him. He too far away, so far are away. And the thumb comes up and he says, don't worry everyone upstaired is okay, It's okay. Now, this isn't even the most annoying character we've played the table with, Joe. That's true.

8:16 In another fight, we were being attacked by sentipedes. Bugs started calling on me and one of them was like, oh, hey, that's sorry, wrong voice. That's not how the centipedes talked, right, Yeah, you don't know that name one centipede you've talked to? Yeah, all right, yeah, I guess that's I guess that's right. There you go bugs started calling on me, and one of them was like, oh, hey, observed those bugs might call into your mouth. You should close your mouth and stop talking. Please. Oh that's a great idea. So I closed it and there's silence there. He goes, Oh, thank god, they've finally gotten the shut up. And that's when they suddenly heard a voice in their head. Oh, hello there, I'm talking to you inside of your head.

8:56 I have the warlocks awake in mind because I'm also a warlock, and that's one of my powers I have. Absurd is very powerful. It's very powerful magic that he has. That way, I could be talking to you even when I can't be talking to you. Isn't it great? And at the end, we finally got to confront the final villain who was holding someone hostage. One of the players says, is there any way we can free that person? Because we didn't want to just abandon someone. The villain says, why yes, Perhaps if one of you were willing to sacrifice yourself, I might be tempted to do an exchange my prisoner for one of your own. Of course, you would have to sacrifice one of your number, but I know you wouldn't be willing to do that, since the bond which your group shares is tighter than anything, the agony over sacrificing one of your own would be a burden that you would have to carry forward for the rest of your days. Now, in the video, they as he was doing this, they were in they were just zooming in on everyone's staring at us.

9:50 Also absurd or no, absurd. I haven't met a party yet that wouldn't just immediately like take that deal In the mid mid sentence, yeah, again, you can take Brian just like in a birthday one shot, absolutely, you know whatever, long lasting campaign where people get attached. Maybe not. But if it's just like if you're just messing around having fun in a one shot, then in this case though, I think even if it was long lasting, so it was about the entire rest of the party at this point, it's all just like slowly pushing him towards the big Dad. So what stories line in the future for absurd? No one can truly say rising against the evil when there's great danger, I am the hero of the story, and they call you him. The name they call me is absurd. Hello, adventurers, just stepping in here to remind you guys that we're actively looking for submissions for our Hello DMS episode that gets reported every month. Send us your burning D and D questions to Helloadventurers podcast at gmail dot com, or send us a voicemail by visiting Helloadventurers podcast dot com slash voice. Don't forget to begin your message with Hello DMS. Can't wait to get your questions to talk about them on the show. Send us your questions today. That's Hello Adventurers Podcast at gmail dot com or the voice at Helloa Adventurers podcast dot com slash voice. Now let's get back to the show. And that's a legend of Ebsurd which that voice is so much more fun than I thought it was

11:22 ever gonna be. I've never did that voice before the time. Tommy Wise is a great This was a really good job. With that being said, kids, if you want to not get invited to play role playing games, this is what you do. Yeah, I mean, this is this is an obvious don't do this at home thing that we've got on here. Right, I beg the different. I think there is merit to bringing an annoying character to juxtapose a serious character. This is the classic, like you know, the the The idea of the comedy duo the straight man funny man has gone back since Vaudeville and way before that. But the funny man isn't is funny. He's not annoying. I'm gonna you think I am not here.

12:11 It was like I can almost see like he's like, you say, drifter. I almost think grifter is probably better, Like he's like, no, he's just gonna wait around. As soon as I think it's he goes away. Yeah, you know, he can't commit, you know, yeah, I don't know. If that's somebody, I say it was well executed. I said it was what he's doing, him being so ridiculous and so bad at everything, because he's a level one and everything, so he'd be so bad at everything makes the other heroes look that good and for for a one shot. If he if he gets captured or sacrificed in this case, that quickly, and then they can move on and do the rest of the campaign. Then it's like, well, well that was weird. Yeah, if you're playing with your friends or something like that, don't do this birthday pay money to be in that game. So yeah, that's yeah, I want to just have a story games. It makes a really good point. Yeah, if everybody kind of agrees on that, like, that's great. Man, Oh, definitely go with that's great. I love that Tommy Wiseo and all that, And I like that it was a prize and I hope that he knew his friends well enough that he was like, they're gonna love m It was a birthday one shot. If you're ever going to pull this boo, that's the time. Yeah, I agree with that. In fact, when's your birthday, Joe coming up? Ain't it? It feels like today, Jason, because you gave us that gift. Every day is Joe's birthday?

13:37 Ye? Any day you want, so, he says, birthday. Yeah. There's there's not like a lesson to be learned from this. It's just like, hey, this is this is a great story. It is absurd and for that I love it. Cool. So if you like the story, or if you hated this story, or if you if you have your own absurd, if you have no version of it, there is a character sheet for this that's someone that's someone made. It might be the original character sheet. So we'll have a link to the D and D beyond in the show notes. So you can check out just how absurd absurd really is. But I think it's going to do it for us today. Did you guys, did you guys have a wonderful time? Did you do the podcasting and the recording and let you talk with your voices. I just want to this wonderful podcast. I'm a good podcaster. We're gonna do this again real soon. So I am Jaseportisa. This is Joe McCall and Jim Crocker.

14:31 This has been Hello Adventurers. Producer, editor Anthoneer, Jason Portiso. Our music is buying Nick Spurrier artwork by Kristen Broderick, and with nothing else to say, goodbye Adventures